I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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