: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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