i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
