Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
