i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
