i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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