it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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