Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
