he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
