I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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