New invention idea: vibrating tampons
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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