The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize