Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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