I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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