she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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