my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
