As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
And then my night got REAL pukey
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
