I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
