jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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