How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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