This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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