Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She even gives head with a lisp.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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