Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
