i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
