sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize