I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
