Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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