Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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