What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
