it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
