We named our party play list daddy issues
im six kinds of drunk right now
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
