Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
