She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
