Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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