its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
