This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
