you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
