She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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