So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
