This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
