my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
