During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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