i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
