I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
