Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
