so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
