the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
