Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
