This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
