i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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