He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
