Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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