Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
