Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
