It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
