I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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