hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
