Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize