that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
