Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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