I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
