so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
