How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
