the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
