apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
